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Wat betekent: scabreus ?scabreus (Betekenis/definitie van) Varjaardag vergeten...Een man kwam gisteren in grote moeilijkheden toen hij zijn trouwdag vergeten was.
Zijn vrouw was woedend en zei hem : "Je kan er beter voor zorgen dat er morgen iets op de oprit staat dat van 0 naar 100 gaat in minder dan zes seconden."
Vanochtend vond de vrouw een pakje op de oprit.
Zij opende het en vond een splinternieuwe badkamerweegschaal...
(De begrafenis van Roger is gepland voor nu zaterdag...) Pilots strike shuts down FinnairBlijkbaar valt er niet te lachen met die Finse jongens...
November 12 Next version of TCASInteresting article on the upcoming changes in TCAS II versin 7.1
October 23 Bullzip MS Access to MySQL
October 18 Onthoud de 4 letters (G-A-S-T) - Herkennen van een beroerte
Dokters zeggen dat een omstaander een aanval kan herkennen door het stellen van vier simpele vragen: G * GLIMLACHEN: Vraag de persoon om te GLIMLACHEN (de mondhoeken moeten beiden simultaan omhoog gaan). A * ARMEN OMHOOG STEKEN: Vraag hem de ARMEN ALLEBEI OP TE STEKEN (de armen moeten beide gelijktijdig en met dezelfde moeite omhoog te tillen zijn).
Als hij of zij moeite heeft met eender welke van deze taken, bel dan onmiddellijk 100 of 112 en beschrijf de symptomen aan de dispatcher. Benadruk dat er haast is geboden ! October 13 IPhone-equipped passenger takes on flight crew over weather
Instead of telling this clown what he can do with his ‘IdiotPhone’ (or where he can shove it), the captain did it even better. He gets on the PA and makes the following announcement: “If the passenger with the iPhone would be kind enough to use it to check the weather at our alternate, calculate our fuel burn due to being rerouted around the storms, call the dispatcher to arrange our release, and then make a phone call to the nearest Air Traffic Control center to arrange our timely departure amongst the other aircraft carrying passengers with iPhones, then we will be more than happy to depart. Please ring your call button to advise the flight attendant and your fellow passengers when you deem it ready and responsible for this multi-million dollar aircraft and its passengers to Needless to say, the pax was pretty embarrassed. The flight attendant later told us the rest of the plane was outright laughing at this dude. What a clown…. Verslavend spelletje…Probeer de kat te omcirkelen (in te sluiten). Succes!
Gekke wolken…Als iemand me hier meer info over kan bezorgen, graag! Volgens mij is het in Australië…
Adrenaline kick nodig?
Do not try this at home! Famous People Painting "Discussing the Divine Comedy with Dante" Test je kennis! Een overzichtje van geschiedkundig belangrijke figuren samengebracht in een enkele afbeelding met links naar Wikipedia. Hier kan je wel een paar avonden mee vullen! September 12 Wuven achter 't stuur (Westvloams voor gevorderden)Voor de West-Vlamingen...'t is ne goeien !!
Voor de niet West-Vlamingen 't is een goeie les. Liefst hardop lezen... Hilarisch!!!!!
Gisterennuchten riek noar kortrik up dotostrade...
 Up me gemakske, jekent mie . Ke kiekken azo over min schoere en kzie doar e wuf in n nieuwen BMW passeren an 140 tereure met eur tote tegen de rute in de spegel te kiekken om eur ogevlerken te kunn schildern. Je moe da eke peizen...
Ik kiekken were voi me voor e poor seconden, moar angezien da dadde gin lelyk keun was... kzegge kgon nog moar e ki loern... Miljaarde nondedju, ze zat godver bikan up min... en mo schildern (nog e couche)... Je kunt eki peisn dak verschoten en... me scheirmasjiene viel ut men nan, flak up men eclairtje dak in men ander nand an. Met dak met men nan vulzaoten hak me stuur tusschen me knien moet steken vaneigens, en deur dak moetn utwykken stukkn'k tegen me telefongstatiftje, me telefong volt noa beneen, flakin me zjatje kaffie tusschen min billen. Je kut e ke gon peizen die hete kaffie up me spriet, me kljingeld verbrandt... en me telefong no de wup... en vaneigens nog e ke me corespondensje onderbrookn wok...
Godver, Godver, je zoet de'r ollik van braken van wuven achter 't stuur!!!! Lizard birth - Absolutely hilarious! If you have raised kids (or been one), and gone through the pet syndrome, including toilet flush burials for dead Goldfish, the story below will have you laughing out LOUD! Overview: I had to take my son's lizard to the vet.
Here's what happened:
Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was 'something wrong' with one of the two lizards he holds prisoner in his room.
'He's just lying there looking sick', he told me. 'I'm serious, Dad. Can you help?'
I put my best lizard-healer expression on my face and followed him into his bedroom. One of the little lizards was indeed lying on his back, looking stressed. I immediately knew what to do.
'Honey', I called, 'come look at the lizard!'
'Oh, my gosh!' my wife exclaimed. 'She's having Babies.'
'What?' my son demanded. 'But their names are Bert and Ernie, Mom!'
I was equally outraged.
'Hey, how can that be? I thought we said we didn't want them to reproduce,'I said accusingly to my wife.
'Well, what do you want me to do, post a sign in their cage?' she inquired
(I think she actually said this sarcastically!) 'No, but you were supposed to get two boys!' I reminded her,
(in my most loving, calm, sweet voice, while gritting my teeth). 'Yeah, Bert and Ernie!' my son agreed.
'Well, it's just a little hard to tell on some guys, you know,' she informed me. (Again with the sarcasm!)
By now the rest of the family had gathered to see what was going on. I shrugged, deciding to make the best of it.
'Kids, this is going to be a wondrous experience' I announced. 'We're about to witness the miracle of birth.'
'Oh, gross!' they shrieked
'Well, isn't THAT just great? What are we going to do with a litter of tiny little lizard babies?' my wife wanted to know.
We peered at the patient ... After much struggling, what looked like a tiny foot would appear briefly, vanishing a scant second later.
'We don't appear to be making much progress,' I noted.
'It's breech,' my wife whispered, horrified.
'Do something, Dad!' my son urged.
'Okay, okay.' Squeamishly, I reached in and grabbed the foot when it next appeared, giving it a gentle tug. It disappeared I tried several more times with the same results.
'Should I call 911?' my eldest daughter wanted to know.'Maybe they could talk us through the trauma.' (You see a pattern here with the females in my house?)
'Let's get Ernie to the vet,' I said grimly. We drove to the vet with my son holding the cage in his lap.
'Breathe, Ernie, breathe,' he urged.
'I don't think lizards do Lamaze,' his mother noted to him.
(Women can be so cruel to their own young. I mean what she does to me is one thing, but this boy is of her womb, for G~d's sake). The vet took Ernie back to the examining room and peered at the little animal through a magnifying glass.
'What do you think, Doc, a C-section?' I suggested scientifically.
'Oh, very interesting,' he murmured. 'Mr. And Mrs. Cameron, may I speak to you privately for a moment?'
I gulped, nodding for my son to step outside.
'Is Ernie going to be okay?' my wife asked.
'Oh, perfectly,' the vet assured us. 'This lizard is not in labor. In fact, that isn't EVER going to happen. Ernie is a boy. You see, Ernie is a young male. And occasionally, as they come into maturity, like most male species, they um ...um, masturbate. Just the way he did, lying on his back.' He blushed, glancing at my wife.
We were silent, absorbing this.
'So, Ernie's just, just...excited,' my wife offered.
'Exactly,' the vet replied, relieved that we understood.
More silence. Then my vicious, cruel wife started to giggle, and giggle. And then even laugh loudly.
'What's so funny?' I demanded, knowing, but not believing that the woman I married would commit the upcoming affront to my flawless manliness.
Tears were now running down her face. 'It's just that ...I'm picturing you pulling on its...its...teeny little... ' She gasped for more air to bellow in laughter once more.
'That's enough,' I warned. We thanked the vet and hurriedly bundled the lizard and our son back into the car. He was glad everything was going to be okay.
'I know Ernie's really thankful for what you did, Dad,' he told me.
'Oh, you have NO idea,' my wife agreed, collapsing with laughter.
Two lizards: $140.
One cage: $50.
Trip to the vet: $30.
Memory of your husband pulling on a lizard's winkie: Priceless!
Moral of the story: Pay attention in biology class.
Lizards lay eggs!
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